Today is my little Gracie girl is seven years old. She is literally the light of our lives. Her smile and her eyes could light up a room in the darkest cave. Gracie is our story teller and our resident artist. She brings us so much joy and happiness…..we wouldn’t be us without her.
We love you sweetie!
Filed under birthday, Gracie
After my last post, I’ve been thinking about that elusive “time” called “me.” I happened upon this lady’s take on the concept of me time and while I don’t completely agree with everything she says in her post, I found enough in there to cause me pause. I especially related to the feeling of always needing more me time and making questionable decisions to get more me time…like staying up WAY too late to read or goof around on the computer. I always justify these decisions with the thought that if I didn’t take my time when I could I would never have any me time. Here is her post in it’s entirety. Let me know what you think.
Here I was just trying to grab alittle “me time” and look what my daughter decided to do….
Notice the chair that has been strategically pushed into the correct position. Did I notice the sound of chair legs scraping across the tile directly behind me? Of course not.
At least she had the presence of mind to look cute when I whipped out the camera. I ROCK!
Well, I’m not at church today and I should probably be there today more than any other day. Today is the year anniversary of Amber’s death and I feel bad. In fact, I’m probably wallowing in my bad and sad feelings more than I should be. I just miss her and I miss our family the way we used to be before last Summer. I guess it’s that feeling of a sudden realization that you are not immune to bad stuff happening, that you are a part of the world that suffers. For me it was like jumping into a cold pool….really shocking at first and then just numb. I know that without suffering I wouldn’t have the fullness of joy that the Lord wants me to have, but today I just feel sad. Although, I have to admit that I’m feeling a lot of strong feelings today and I have to thank the Lord for that. Connor, Gracie and Emma all climbed in her crib to “cuddle” together and when I found them all hugging and cuddling, I could’ve dropped to my knees from the overwhelming love I felt right then. Would I feel so strongly that love if last Summer hadn’t happened? I don’t know. I just know that God knows what is going on and I have to have faith in that. I have to have faith;I have to refine that faith so that I can function on days like today. I’ve been thinking that after this year, I’m not sure I want to recognize this day anymore. I would rather remember her birthday or the first time I met her (when she was 2) or the first time she held each of my children. Today is just hard. I feel heavy from the weight of it. The physical symptoms of grief are amazing. The utter weight of it is a physical sensation that I did not completely understand before. It takes a lot of work to grieve and it’s not fun. Chris is doing so well. He is such a good example to our children and myself. He is at church today and took all the kiddos. He knows where he can find comfort and peace and here I sit. At the computer. Crying. I am not making good choices.
Amber, I miss you. I miss you sassing me and everyone around you. I miss your affection for my kids. I miss your hugs. I miss trying to give you advice you wanted nothing to do with. I miss your temper. I miss your devotion and loyalty to all those you loved. I just miss you….warts and all.
I’m gonna go eat something and clean.
Thanks for listening.
I’ve been thinking alot about babies recently. I don’t know if it’s my dwindling egg supply or watching Emma get bigger or seeing a TON of preggo gals at church, but I have babies on the brain! Now, as you all know I have three great kids already and if that’s all I ever had I would be extremely lucky. I used to be one of those people who truly believed in overpopulation and thought that two children was responsible, three starting to push it and more than three?! Crazy and old-fashioned. As you can probably guess, I have changed my mind since my early twenties and don’t have the same views anymore (I also don’t think 40 is “really old” and “almost dead” anymore either). I still thought the world was terribly over populated though…until some recent articles I had been reading about how some countries are actually suffering from a baby shortage. News to me. I found this video on someone’s blog and just found it amazing! It’s an advertisement to encourage German couples to have more children. Watch and be amazed…
I stole this from Julie E’s blog and thought it seemed fun. Plus, I’m avoiding housework like usual….
1. Where is your cell phone? pocket
2. Your significant other? Chris
3. Your hair? curly
4. Your mother? little
5. Your father? funny
6. Your favorite thing? family
7. Your dream last night? test
8. Your favorite drink? 7-up
9. Your dream/goal? forever
10. The room you’re in? kitchen
11. Your children? playing
12. Your fear? illness
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? abundance
14. Where were you last night? computer
15. What you’re not? quiet
16. Muffins? chocolate
17. One of your wish list items? camera
18. Where you grew up? California
20. What are you wearing? deodorant
21. Your TV? Watched
22. Your pets? sleeping
23. Your computer? On
24. Your life? unbelievable
25. Your mood? mellow
26. Missing someone? yes
27. Your car? dirty
28. Something you’re not wearing? make-up
29. Favorite Store? Target
30. Your summer? crazy
31. Like someone? everyone
32. Your favorite color? green
33. Last time you laughed? today
34. Last time you cried? yesterday
I’m still continuously surprised by the little changes in my life since moving to Flower Mound almost 5 years ago (5 years ago?!). Sure it’s hotter than heck here some days and I don’t have the plethora of dining choices within a 5 mile radius like I did in CA, but I’ll trade it all for the frogs. Yes, the frogs.
Now I just need to convince my family that frogs are worth it to move to Texas….